is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
