either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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