Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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