I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize