I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
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