My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
