im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
