The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Randomize
