Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
MIDGETS
????
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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