just come out here and I will go home with you...
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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