the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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