I like to think it a success when the cops are called
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
