Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
