i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
