I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize