I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
