none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
