I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
