someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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