Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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