i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
