I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
