**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
