So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
