I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
