i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
