I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
