Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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