how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
