That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize