hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
