Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
