I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
