like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
FUCK WHALES
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
