i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I did not marry a roomba.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
