Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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