literally had 100 drinks last night.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
