New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
