i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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