i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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