I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize