I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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