How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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