we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
