Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
