theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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