when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
