I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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