All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
