it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
