Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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