Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
