so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
