I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
