just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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