38 yer olds are good kisserssss
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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