Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
