My liver just broke up with me...
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
