You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
