Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
