Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
