Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize