I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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