i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Houston, we have a squirter
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
