His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
