Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize