yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
