the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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