We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
