He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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