i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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